In Conversation
With Your Loved One

Think back to when you were just getting to know each other. How often did you see each other and what did you talk about? Probably you mostly talked to each other a lot about each other. And how is that now?

How much time do you as partners, lovers talk to each other about each other. In other words, how much “quality time” do you spend together?

In many relationships, the time you spend together often becomes shorter and you mainly talk about work, the news, the children, …. All topics outside of yourself. I also find it remarkable how many relationships break down early on. End in divorce.

I once read a book called ‘Homework Assignments’ with homework assignments from well-known American therapists.

One of the assignments from this book: spend at least 1 hour every day (a day has 24) as a couple together and talk to each other about each other. Not about work. Not about the kids. Not about the news or other media. About yourself. About each other, with each other.

 “If I really knew you,
I would know that …. “

Sit facing each other in meditation pose.

Look each other in the eyes.

One person begins and says the following question aloud:

“If I really knew you, I would know …. ”

The other person then finishes this sentence.

Answer quickly and don’t think about it.

Say what comes to mind.

If nothing new comes to mind, repeat what you said last time.

Once the other person has answered, ask the question again.

Keep repeating the question for ten minutes.

Then close your eyes for a minute and …

Then turn the tables.

Reflect on the exercise when you have both had your turn.

Thank each other for being open.